have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize