You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
