i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
