The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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