i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
