mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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