Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
