There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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