Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I just found puke in my bra..
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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