Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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