I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize