We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
