i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
