So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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