Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
