Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
