Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
