I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
