The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
