do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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