please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
