god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
