If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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