similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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