Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
you mean i was at the winter classic?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
