Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
