Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
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