I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
