the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
