i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
