ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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