3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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