can we get nightvision for the apartment?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
