If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
