i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
