I swear god or herbie drove my car home
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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