I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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