Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
