U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
