You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Houston, we have a blender
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
