I CAN MOONWALK!
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
