just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
