I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
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