I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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