just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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