she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
your like the ambassador to my penis.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize