I heard we made out
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
She is in my trunk
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
