My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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