Blood and glitter go together right?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
