You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
