So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Randomize
