does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
