Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
This beer is not sobering me up at all
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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