I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
