My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
