I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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