I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Randomize
