i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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